Filipino Signs of Wit

Ok, this was supposedly posted yesterday but I've got so many things to do yesterday. So, here's your joke for the week.

FILIPINO SIGNS OF WIT

* The sign in a flower shop in Diliman called Petal Attraction.

* Anita Bakery

* A 24-hour restaurant called Doris Day & Night

* Barber shop called Felix The Cut

* A bakery named Bread Pitt

* Fast-food place selling 'maruya' (banana fritters) called Maruya Carey

* Then, there is Christopher Plumbing

* A boutique called The Way We Wear.

* A video rental shop called Leon King Video Rental

* A restaurant in Cainta district of Rizal called CaintackyFried Chicken

* A local burger restaurant called Mang Donald's

* A doughnut shop called MacDonuts

* A shop selling 'lumpia' (egg roll) in Makati called Wrap and Roll

* And two butcher shops called Meating Place and Meatropolis

Smart travelers can decipher what may look like baffling signs to unaccustomed foreigners by simply sounding out the 'Taglish' (ThePhilippine version of English words spelled and pronounced with a heavyFilipino accent such as:

* At a restaurant menu in Cebu "We hab sopdrink in can an inbatol" [translation: We have soft drinks in can and in bottle].

* Then, there is a sewing accessories shop called Bids And Pises- [translation: Beads and Pieces --or-- Bits and Pieces]

There are also many signs with either badly chosen or misspelled words but they are usually so entertaining that it would be a mistake to 'correct' them like...

* In a restaurant in Baguio City, the 'summer capital' of thePhilippines: "Wanted: Boy Waitress"

* On a highway in Pampanga: "We Make Modern Antique Furniture"

* In a Baguio grocery: "Fresh Frozen Chicken Sold Here"

* On the window of a photography shop in Cabanatuan: "We Shoot You While You Wait"

* on a Flower shop in Rizal Avenue: "We Sell Artificial Fresh Flowers" (which probably means, artificial flowers that look fresh)

* And on the glass front of a cafe in Panay Avenue in Manila :"Wanted: Waiter, Cashier, Washier."

Some of the notices can even give a wrong impression such as:

* A shoe store in Pangasinan which has a sign saying: "We Sell Imported Robber Shoes" (these could be the 'sneakiest' sneakers);

* A rental property sign in Jaro reads: "House For Rent, Fully Furnaced" (it must really be hot inside!)

* Occasionally, one could come across signs that are truly unique - if not altogether odd. City in southern Philippines whichsaid: "Adults: 1 peso; Child: 50 centavos; Cadavers: fare subject to negotiation. "

* European tourists may also be intrigued to discover two competing shops selling hopia (a Chinese pastry) called Holand Hopia and Poland Hopia - which are owned and operated by two local Chineseentrepreneurs, Mr. Ho and Mr. Po respectively - (believe it or not!)

* Some folks also 'creatively' redesign English to be more efficient. The creative confusion between language and culture leads to more than just simple unintentional errors in syntax, but in the adoption of new words,' says reader Robert Goodfellow who came across a sign... "House Fersallarend' (house for sale or rent). Why use five words when two will do?

According to Manila businessman, Tonyboy Ongsiako, there is so much wit in the Philippines because "We are a country where a goodsense of humor is needed to survive." We have a 24-hour comedy show here called the government and a huge reserve of comedians made up mostly of politicians and bad actors. Now I ask you where else in the world would one want to live?

Note: These were sent to me through email. There is no way I can tell who the original writer/s of this. If any of you knows who they are (or you might be the one); just email me or leave a comment here. I would be very glad to give the credit to whom the creadit is due.